Setting the Ground Rules

It's 9:30 p.m. and I'm sitting in this dark room, patiently waiting for my children to fall asleep so that I can get some much-needed rest.  A week playing the role of single mom, and I'm physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted.  The children are ready for their "Dada" to be home, and so am I. 

But as I sit here my mind doesn't stop.  I can't help but think back on how our week has gone...starting out well but with that slight downward tilt.  Until today, when we reached full speed going down that hill and all began to spin out of control.  And so I think...of things that might help our days go more smoothly.  Of things that I could change. 

Mama needs some ground rules...not for her kids, but for herself.  And, so, tonight I'm writing them....rules that will hopefully help us achieve a quieter, more peaceful, more efficient, and more fun home. 

And here they are:

Ground Rules for Mama

1.  I will shower and dress every morning before the kids are awake.
2.  The laptop will be shut off when the children awake and may not be turned back on until nap time.
3.  I will give hugs and kisses whenever they are asked for...No more, "I can't right now, I'm busy."  One should never be too busy for hugs and kisses.
4.  I will sit at the table and enjoy breakfast and lunch with my children instead of trying to work through them to get more done.
5.  I will set a timer for work time and do nothing but work during that time.  When the timer goes off, it is time to stop and do something fun with the kids.
6.  I will stop ("red light!", as I tell my kids) when I feel myself losing control.  I will control the tone and volume of my voice, and I will apologize to my kids when I break the rule.
7.  I will let go of perfection and allow things to be "good enough".
8.  I will slow down, take in, see, and give thanks for the gifts given here and now.

Do you set ground rules for yourself, do you think you need to?  If you do, how do you stay accountable?  I'd like to hear your thoughts, especially on the accountability part.  I'm going to share my rules with my kids and let them know that these are rules I need to follow and that they need to remind me if I am not following the rules...just like I remind them when they are not following the rules.  I think my kids will be better at keeping me accountable to my own rules than anyone else...at least I hope so!

Focus on Bedtime

It has become abundantly clear to me that my children need a more structured bedtime routine.  As much as I love a good plan, I must admit we tend to be a family of spontaneity more often than not.  We say bedtime is 8:00, but that usually means 8:30 or 9:00 and sometimes 10:00.  I've noticed in the past couple weeks my children are having a harder time settling down to get to sleep, and the late nights do not mean that they will sleep later in the morning.  I have early risers...6:30 for a 2, 3 and 5-year-old is too early, in my opinion.  Heck, 6:30 is sometimes too early for me!  They are tired, though they'd never admit it.

So, in an attempt to help my children fall asleep faster and get a better night's rest, I have come up with a structured bedtime routine and we will begin implementing it this evening.  Here is my plan:

• 7:15-7:30 -- PJs on, teeth brushed, face and hands washed
• 7:30-8:00 -- Everyone on couch for one last TV show or reading time.
• 8:00-8:30 -- Kids to bed, say prayers, read bible story and one chapter from our current book
• 8:30         -- Goodnight hugs and kisses, everyone goes to sleep

This is our starting point.  I know things may need to be modified along the way and some rules may need to be set, but I'm determined to make this work.  I desire for my kids to be well-rested and healthy, and I believe I need to teach them good bedtime rituals so that they can learn to settle themselves down and fall asleep on their own. 

Sounds easy enough, but I fear it will be a struggle as we begin.  With three active, strong-willed children I will need a lot of patience and persistence, I'm sure. 

What bedtime rituals do you have with your children?  What does your bedtime routine look like, or maybe you don't have one?  I'd love to hear your ideas!